Life is such a funny thing. Lately the life in my head has been too busy, too loud to get out and join the world. I’ve been all over the place emotionally. Our plans for the future are changing on a daily basis. The kids are growing up so fast — I have a three year old in the house!
For how Christmasy I usually am, I’m really behind this year. I usually do my Christmas cards over the Thanksgiving break. This year I won’t even have the photos in my hands until Monday night. I try to set up the tree as soon as Little Red’s birthday is over. This year the birthday that never ends and the baby who doesn’t sleep are really interfering with that. Little Red even asked yesterday if we were going to get a Christmas tree (like everyone else?) I told him it wouldn’t be until I could clean up the house. (or Christmas. Whatever comes first.)
For those of you who do not know me, our humble apartment is not so bad that you need to make a path, in fact currently the floor is vaccuumed and only one puzzle and half a basket of cars are on the floor. It’s just that the bookshelves are cluttered, and the table is really a staging area for a variety of projects. I need to get orged before I add anything else to the clutter. It’s driving me crazy.
The projects are another thing altogether. My two month long sleep deprivation is killing brain cells left and right. I still haven’t even made the pattern to figure out how much material I need to buy to recover the couch. A girlfriend from home just had her baby, a sweet girl. I had a unisex blanket for her: white with blue, pink and yellow stripes. It was really cute and I’ve been meaning to mail it to her for a few months, but I didn’t. So now that I know the baby is a girl I decided she needs a pink blanket. And since she’s a December baby in Edmonton then for sure she also needs that cute cardigan which has become my trademark. And a hat of course. And booties. And while I’m at it, a poncho.
Ummm, yeah. That’s just the start of things.
Meanwhile the boys want more attention and I can hardly keep up with the dishes and the bathrooms. I spaced out the drop off dates for the Creche Display. I haven’t planned playgroup in a month. I’m dropping words off my sentences all over the place. I’m a car accident waiting to happen and yet I want to add more projects to my plate.
Christmas presents to Canada? Not mailed yet. Still waiting for more things before I can even go to the post office. Sorry Zack, your present will be late.
Living like this drives me crazy. I’m not knitting another thing, nor crocheting, nor even baking, until I feel like I have some organization in the downstairs, anyway, and set up the tree. The rest can follow afterwards. Using the computer less does help me with the flow of the day, but I feel emotionally disconnected from my self-imposed solitude. This is going to be a busy weekend, but hopefully productive enough that next week I can tell all about Little Red’s three birthday celebrations, our trip to Detroit, and how I’m finally ready for Christmas. (or getting there.)
Posted by Zen Mama 
