One Dry Day

I made it the whole day without crying. The trick was to just tell people “I’m not talking about this because I’m wearing mascara today” and then change the subject. As for the looks… well I just hid behind my purse.

Anyway, it wasn’t easy, but it worked. I didn’t cry today. That’s a very good thing.

*** Don’t forget to enter the Music With Sara Giveaway here and here!

Red’s Head and Blue’s Clues 2.25.12

Today we played Dump-and-Sort. Red picked up Blue and carried him to the “keep” pile.

Blue has asked us to buy a house with a football field in the backyard; nothing smaller will do.

*** Don’t forget to enter the Music With Sara Giveaway here and here!

The Contract

I made a deal with myself some time ago. I promised to live with intent. I vowed that I would make the most of wherever I was. I committed to live without regret. Most importantly, I decided, was that I would feel deeply.

It has been a rich life, living in this way. I have seen and done many things without inhibition and have felt unsinkable lightness. By living in this way I have embraced so much joy.

Part of the agreement is to allow my sorrows to have their time. I have cried an ocean in the past twenty-four hours and there are worlds of tears left to cry. I will make new friends, I will find new fun, and I will have joy. Knowing that doesn’t take away the sting of leaving all the beauty I created for my life here.

I’ll probably cry every day for the next two months. It doesn’t mean I’m unhappy about the move. I’m just allowing myself to feel the sorrow of separating from what I have grown to love.

Some of you may have to remind Paul and I am not unhappy just because I’m crying. I don’t think he quite understands.

Quick Update – details to follow

After 10 weeks, plus another few days for negotiations, Paul has a job offer. I’ll write more later. Right now I’m too busy trying to get my head around how to move 8 years of memories.

Giveaway: “Más Canciones en Español” from Music With Sara

If you live in the Los Angeles/Glendale area and haven’t yet discovered Music With Sara’s high-energy bilingual music then you’re missing out because she’s everywhere: parties, classes, festivals. I met her first at school and have had a little music-crush on her ever since. She donates a lot of her free time to teaching music to all the Spanish classes at our school. (She was the inspiration for my stint last year as the Italian music teacher.) It’s fun to be in on the ground floor of things so I’m here to tell you that she has a brand-new album that has just been released!

Mas Canciones en Espanol is exactly what it says it is: more songs in Spanish. Supported by tight production and recording, Sara and friends bring us eighteen more Spanish songs for you and your children.

Now, I have a confession to make: I personally know almost everyone in this recording, children and adults. That said, I’d enjoy the easy rhythms and adorable voices even without seeing those faces in my mind.  The music is really fun and I’m kind of a music snob.

You can listen to all this fun music, too, on her facebook page and download the digital album or buy a good ol’fashioned cd. Are you listening from her facebook page while you read the rest of this?  You should.  Don’t you feel more cultural already?  Time to plan a family vacation to somewhere Spanish-speaking to try out your new skills… (or maybe we need another album, Sara!)

Giveaways are always more fun, however, and Sara has graciously offered a free cd.

Entering the giveaway is easy: leave me a comment on this blog post.  For an additional two entries you can “like” Music with Sara on facebook, and follow @itsmusictime on twitter then come back here and leave me additional comments telling me you completed those instructions.

***The giveaway is now closed.  Thank you to all who entered!***

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LACMA

Did you know that you can visit LACMA for free? You can. I do it not as often as I’d like. Read more in my new post on Cherry Blossoms.

A Love Story

When cooking, we often refer to marrying flavours.  We take two separate foods and usually with heat and vigorous stirring the two flavours unite to become something new and different, but most importantly, cohesive.  If foods have opinions they’d probably prefer to be left alone, not bothering to undergo a chemical transformation, but the end result is often superior.  It’s a good thing foods don’t have opinions.

A marriage between two people is very much the same.  Two individuals, pretty content living their lives and doing a pretty good job of being whole, are tossed into a pot and stirred vigorously over heat.  A true marriage between two people is one that has endured some sort of stress to instigate a transformation that has unified the two to become one.  It isn’t instantaneous with the “I do”s, nor is it a simple or enjoyable process.  It is, however, one that is mandatory for a strong marriage.

This isn’t the first time Paul and I have been stirred vigorously over high heat, nor will it be the last.  Our marriage began years ago and we continue to bond together during tough times.  Each episode of cooking strengthens our marriage more and I am grateful for the reminder that I chose my mate well, and that we will be together for the eternities.  I am equally grateful for the stressers in our life: parenthood, unemployment, etc, that fuse our hearts together and make us as a product so much greater than the sum of the two of us individually.

Turn up that heat, I’m ready.

It’s My Blirthday (tomorrow)

Tonight my life as a blogger completes another successful turn around the sun.  I celebrated perfectly.

Today happened to have been a day off school and I spent it perfectly in every way.  I stayed in bed until 8am!!!!!  My homeschool family came over for their lessons after my leisurely morning and Red, home from school, was very happy to be able to play.  Our whole family spent the afternoon at LACMA returning home the very second that my evening student and Red’s piano teacher arrived at our door.  Cue dinner and bed.  Perfectly perfect day.

Times and Seasons

You can’t take away your lungs and expect your body to function as it did before. They are a vital part of your well-being. For those of us who have dedicated our lives to learning an instrument, we can’t just suddenly not be a musician. Fooling ourselves into think we’re different than who we are is akin to living without a major organ.

That said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break. Musically, everything went wrong for me in Hawaii. I can’t explain it but I suddenly couldn’t even play the stuff in the Children’s Songbook without stumbling. I was a blundering mess. I stopped trying and I focused on the rest of my life at that time. (Working at the PCC, going to school full time, student teaching, and being a new wife was plenty!) I didn’t even miss playing the piano. Honestly. I played the hymns in church sometimes and that was enough.

It was the same in Virginia. I played for RS on Sunday mornings and that was my only music for the whole week.

It was even less when we moved here. As much as we hinted and downright campaigned for me to have a music calling, I never have. Other than the very sparse piano moments I didn’t even touch a piano unless at my mother-in-law’s.

I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t play but it was physical, mental, and emotional. And then … suddenly, the clouds parted and “get a piano, now” could not have been more clearly heard in my head. It was all I could think.

And I’m back.

Just as I couldn’t explain why I needed a decade-long break from music, I can’t explain how it all came back. But it did. My head is back in the right place and I can synthesize all I’ve learned all those years ago. My muscles are not as strong as they used to be, but with time my technique is returning and my touch is certainly more mature. I am at peace with the break I had.

When I was myopically focusing on pianopianopiano I constantly stuggled with not being good enough. There is always someone who can sight read faster than you, always someone who can pick out a melody by ear, always someone who can see the chord progressions without painstaking analysis, and always, always, always someone who can play that piece I worked on for months, better, and with less time to learn. It’s hard to compare yourself and always come up short.

It isn’t the Lord’s way for there to be only a few best people while the rest of us struggle with mediocrity. Each of us, with our various talents, interests, and opportunities, needs to be the best version of our own selves. If we do that, we’ll be more beautifully diverse than all the flora of the world.

I am not the best pianist, nor the best teacher, nor the best at any one thing. But I am the best me, and all of my experiences and perspectives make me different from everyone else.  That break from piano may just have been what the doctor ordered to realign my priorities.