Deconstructing my Complex

I’ll be the first to admit that I got bigger faster with this pregnancy than with my first one. I know the first spike in weight was a result of going from walking 10,000 steps a day to spending every day on the couch moaning. It was all downhill from there, and even when my weight gain mellowed-out my belly seemed to grow exponentially with time. I was not very far along before people started patting my belly (I tried, akwardly, to tell them that was just my fat being pushed out by the baby, still too small to feel,) and then -horrors!- asking me if I was carrying twins. Of course when I stated emphatically that I knew there was only one baby they started asking how soon I was to delivery.

I’m only halfway there, people, the birth is not an imminent event.

I was really developping a complex about it until I finally spent some time with family and close friends. My husband’s aunt didn’t even know I was pregnant, but greeted me with an enthusiastic “you look great!” My boss scolded me for “loosing weight” while pregnant. My girlfriends said, “you’re already 24 weeks?” And I looked in the mirror, finally, and realized that I really am not so big underneath all those clothes. I just don’t know why I listened to all those people in the first place.


10 thoughts on “Deconstructing my Complex

  1. haha I always hated it more when people would say that I didn’t look pregnant when I really looked VERY pregnant. I was thinking “What?! You think I NORMALLY look this fat?!?!?!” πŸ™‚

    I was bigger faster the 2nd time too. In the end I gained exactly 30 lbs with each pregnancy. I somehow carried a lot bigger with Jenacy though. By the end I even grew out of my maternity pants! How sad is that? πŸ™‚

  2. Here is a fun fact for you Heather. Did you know that your baby could now survive outside the womb? Yup, When M was in the NICU for so long I saw many many babies come in after being born at 24 weeks. When I passed that mark with L, I threw a celebration. I no longer had to be afraid!

  3. heh. that’s my big fear as i seem to becoming round and sassy about my middle. and NO I AM NOT PREGNANT! but… i think i look it, and if i think it, others must think it, and that’s why i’m shivering in a closet beneath a blanket big enough to cover my belly. πŸ˜‰

  4. YOU TRIED LOSING WEIGHT!?!?! Did I read that correctly??? It’s ok. All women get that complex, esp. if they are prego. Even more so when they know they’re getting bigger. I had the hardest time accepting that I needed to wear maternity clothes. Believe me when I say this: You look so cute pregnant. I wish I could have been that happy and glowy when I was.

  5. No I did not try losing weight while pregnant. Shesh, you saw me before I got pregnant, Tiff, you of all people know that if I was going to have a fat complex it would have been pre-baby. She was just worried that I wasn’t getting big enough (she’s 6 weeks ahead of me) and accused me of losing weight.

    FeatherSky, I really enjoyed finally being so big with Little Red that people couldn’t accidently think it was all just fat. Before about 7 months people would say, “oh, you’re pregnant?” and I knew they had just been thinking, “boy she’s fat.” But somehow it didn’t bother me the first time around.

    April, I shudder to think of the baby being born now. I know how awful it was for you and I don’t wish it on anyone.

    Fourth Fret, if you don’t figure it out, just send me your address and I’ll mail you all my clothes as I grow out of them. πŸ˜‰ I’m pretty sure I’m still bigger than you.

  6. Now that’s something I would like to see. Six-foot-tall Fourth Fret in Proud Mum’s maternity clothes. Okay, not really. It might be a little scary… But anyway, I remember something like a whole chapter of my maternity book being devoted to staying happy by not listening to what other people say about your size. (Well, maybe not a whole chapter, but it was mentioned frequently.)

  7. heh. You think you get bigger faster on the second, just wait until number for comes along. I think I looked about ready to give birth from week 8 on. Well, not really, but it sure felt that way. πŸ™‚ I suppose I am just trying to say, I know EXACTLY how you feel. πŸ™‚

  8. Many years ago–when you were probably not even in school yet, I had a friend who, pregnant with her FIFTH child, didn’t even realize she was pg until she was about 5 months along. How could that be? Well, she was still nursing the last one [no periods] and was on the heavy side, so hadn’t noticed and hadn’t had any weight gain.

    With my #1 I wore maternity clothes becauseI wanted to–I didn’t really need to–even at 91/2 months along. With #2 I told my amazed bro-in-law that I was 6 months pregnant, not just fat!
    By # 5, no question, I was pregnant. After that I began to be more careful about how I wore my clothes and carried myself after being asked how far along I was during a rare time I wasn’t pregnant! It is all in the eye, and wishes sometimes, of the beholder.

    The best thing about pregnancy is not having to worry about looking fat. Enjoy it while you can, you’ll have plenty of years when you’ll worry about that anyway–stupid skinny society–I blame it all on Twiggy [who would actually be considered pudgy by today’s Hollywood standards.]

  9. I feel your pain. I must have had a great pregnancy with Syd. This one I’m just miserable. I’m starting out this one 20 pounds heavier than I did with either of my first two and that has me worried. Thanks to morning sickness I have yet to gain any weight but I fear for the future. I have some belly fat which probably gives the illusion that I’m farther along than I am. As far as baby is concerned still no show. All still hiding behind my jeans.

  10. Oh girl, here I am at 12 weeks and already have had someone touch my belly! I’m with you! But I’ve been blessed with the “Wow, you’ve lost weight!” expression already. I went to the doctor on the of December 15 only to find out that I’ve lost 4 1/2 lbs since December 5th!! I’m not eating though, so perhaps that where that’s coming from! I can’t wear any of my “new” clothing I bought in September and that’s fine with me! Means that I”m growing and compared to the last pregnancy, I’m so ecstatic with showing so soon! Even with my 10lb baby boy, I didn’t show until around 7 months to the general population and I felt so cheated! This time, I’m already into my maternity clothing and I’m not going to complain! I’ve had the “It could be twins” too, but given we’ve already had our first ultrasound, it’s only one! It’s almost like people take a devlish delight in someone expecting twins. I wouldn’t see it as a curse…but a double blessing with MUCH more work involved! Oh well…to each their own!

    Good luck and Merry Christmas!!

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