A few nights ago I had a dream, in which, without any warning, my husband came home from a night with his friends and informed me that we were getting divorced. I was stunned. I’ve never thought I was a perfect wife but was completely unaware that he was so unhappy.
In the days that followed I couldn’t get near him to speak with him as his friends formed an impenetrable perimeter around him. Finally, one of his friends gave me audience and as soon as we sat down he berated me, listing all the things I personally dislike about myself as a wife. “That,” he concluded, “is why he wants a divorce. He doesn’t need negative influences like you weighing him down.” His friend got up to leave before I had a chance to plead my case or apologize.
I, too, had a gaggle of supportive friends, although mine were mostly strangers, embittered man-haters who came in as a receiving line, each faceless, each repeating the same, “you don’t need him, you’re better off.” They emptied out all my material possessions as “negative tokens of the man” and disappeared.
In a daze I can only compare to a post-surgical narcotic haze I set off on a walk. Climbing a never-ending hill I rehearsed to the birds and newly-constructed houses all the things I wanted to say to my now-estranged husband. I know I’m not perfect, but I’m trying. I really love you. I really want to make this work.
It was a dream without conclusion, but it haunted me for several days. It was a good reminder for me that I need to be conscious on a daily basis of how I treat my husband, taking nothing for granted. I’m not a perfect wife, but I love my husband and am totally devoted to him. I’m so glad that at least in real life, he knows that. It’s nice that my real-life husband is even better than my dream husband!