With the exception of Little Red sobbing at bedtime, afraid that once Daddy walked out the door and Little Red went to sleep that Daddy would leave again, things have been just as though he had never been gone. I’m so pleased that with his return I didn’t disolve into a teary mess as the last five weeks came down on top of me, rather, those last five weeks have disolved behind me. I’ve really learned a lot about my own strength from this.
To celebrate I checked out for a good portion of the afternoon, mentally empty although physically present. I am so fatigued. Tonight I’m going to take a long bath to forget about all those times I hopped into the showering thinking “tonight’s the night I get to use conditioner” only to re-evaluate a minute later and say “well, I hope the shampoo washes the rest of me on the way down.”
Paul teased me that I must have loved having him gone, eating all the celery and walnuts I wanted. (Not to mention having access to the car and having the bed to myself.) It’s no contest, I gladly give up all of those things to have him back. When he goes to his conference in two weeks, we’re all crashing in his hotel room — Viva Las Vegas! (anyone going to be around?)