The Eternal Debate

In my former life as a teacher I had always approached things with the attitude that if it’s bad then you need to mourn before you can move on.  That’s the way I told it to parents whose children had disabilities — of course they love their children but they must go through a period of mourning before they can truly embrace their children as they are.  With that philosophy translated to my current woes I should accept the bad days as they come and live the emotion before I can move on to (hopefully) happier days.

Just hold it together.  Now’s not a good time to fall apart.

The problem is, of course, that life still goes on.  Whether I’m doing well emotionally or not, I still need to feed and care for my family, the boys still need attention and stimulating activities, and social escapades.  Accepting depression isn’t going to let me do what I need to do.

Just face the wall and let the tears fall.  Don’t sob, don’t give visual or aural clues that you’re crying.

I guess the solution is to power through and make the best of things.  To weather the storm by ignoring it doesn’t seem the most effective way, but for me it seems my only option.  Some days are better than others.

Categories: me

3 thoughts on “The Eternal Debate

  1. It is not always easy to look at ourselves and realize that we are not ok. I congratulate you on your first step. However, here is the harder part. To figure out WHY we are not ok. I have been aware there was something underneath it all. I want to and will be there to listen and to help in whatever way I can. If you need to talk or just a break or anything of the sorts please let me help. I’m just three doors away and want to do whatever I can to help. You have been a source of strength for me. I would like to be one for you as well. Do know however, that the Lord is watching and listening. And though sometimes we feel as though He is a gazillion miles away He is right next to you. He loves you no matter what. He always has and always will. I love you as well and will help in any way possible to get you through this. You do not have to be so strong so that no one knows you are hurting. It will not change our opinions of you at all. 🙂

  2. Oh Zen. That’s how I feel every day. That’s how I felt today. I wish we could be closer to help support each other when we’re breaking down like we were when we’d burst into each other’s practice rooms.

    Please call me. Whenever, on which ever number you can reach me on. (Like back in June when you found me in Utah!)

  3. I know how you feel. I tend to try to weather the storm by ignoring it but then end up crying like crazy over dumb little things later on. Someday the storms will get easier, right?

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