Trying to Return

Life is such a funny thing.  Lately the life in my head has been too busy, too loud to get out and join the world.  I’ve been all over the place emotionally.  Our plans for the future are changing on a daily basis.  The kids are growing up so fast — I have a three year old in the house!

For how Christmasy I usually am, I’m really behind this year.  I usually do my Christmas cards over the Thanksgiving break.  This year I won’t even have the photos in my hands until Monday night.  I try to set up the tree as soon as Little Red’s birthday is over.  This year the birthday that never ends and the baby who doesn’t sleep are really interfering with that.  Little Red even asked yesterday if we were going to get a Christmas tree (like everyone else?)  I told him it wouldn’t be until I could clean up the house.  (or Christmas.  Whatever comes first.)

For those of you who do not know me, our humble apartment is not so bad that you need to make a path, in fact currently the floor is vaccuumed and only one puzzle and half a basket of cars are on the floor.  It’s just that the bookshelves are cluttered, and the table is really a staging area for a variety of projects.  I need to get orged before I add anything else to the clutter.  It’s driving me crazy.

The projects are another thing altogether.  My two month long sleep deprivation is killing brain cells left and right.  I still haven’t even made the pattern to figure out how much material I need to buy to recover the couch.  A girlfriend from home just had her baby, a sweet girl.  I had a unisex blanket for her: white with blue, pink and yellow stripes.  It was really cute and I’ve been meaning to mail it to her for a few months, but I didn’t.  So now that I know the baby is a girl I decided she needs a pink blanket.  And since she’s a December baby in Edmonton then for sure she also needs that cute cardigan which has become my trademark.  And a hat of course.  And booties.  And while I’m at it, a poncho.

Ummm, yeah.  That’s just the start of things.

Meanwhile the boys want more attention and I can hardly keep up with the dishes and the bathrooms.  I spaced out the drop off dates for the Creche Display.  I haven’t planned playgroup in a month.  I’m dropping words off my sentences all over the place.  I’m a car accident waiting to happen and yet I want to add more projects to my plate.

Christmas presents to Canada?  Not mailed yet.  Still waiting for more things before I can even go to the post office.  Sorry Zack, your present will be late.

Living like this drives me crazy.  I’m not knitting another thing, nor crocheting, nor even baking, until I feel like I have some organization in the downstairs, anyway, and set up the tree.  The rest can follow afterwards.  Using the computer less does help me with the flow of the day, but I feel emotionally disconnected from my self-imposed solitude.  This is going to be a busy weekend, but hopefully productive enough that next week I can tell all about Little Red’s three birthday celebrations, our trip to Detroit, and how I’m finally ready for Christmas.  (or getting there.)

8 thoughts on “Trying to Return

  1. Oh Heather! I didn’t realize how much I really have missed you until I saw your eyeball on my blog reader. Sigh. Things have to settle down someday, and if we can just get Dana to return, life could get back to normal. Well as normal as it used to be anyway 😉

    I have missed my friends.

  2. Life will get back to normal… someday. For me, personally, it’ll probably happen when the last kid has moved out. Until then, I will always be a day late and a dollar short and there’s really not much I can do about it!

  3. At least you don’t have to clear a path. In some of the rooms in my house, you do. And with all my knitting yarn and stuff taking up space in the living room, I’m not sure where the tree is supposed to go….

  4. I know you don’t like to go toe to toe with me, but I thought this might help. Not only do I have a house where I have to clear a path (I’ve been on Lee’s case to get the Christmas stuff…so he did…today before everything was clean) I have a baby that refuses to be put down. And my parents are coming in a week. That’s right one week. And you know how my mom and dad are about clean houses. AUGH! Oh..and just to make it a bit more hectic I replied to an ad to move to a house here in Glendale. Hopefully he’ll pick us!! So yeah…possibly moving too. Oh! and I’m contemplating making little santa’s to put treats in for Lee’s people at work. I think the sleep depravation is really a bad thing as well. hehe…

  5. I hate to tell you this, but it gets worse as they get older. 😉 I completely understand, in fact I was thinking you sounded a lot like myself. I have SO many projects and things to get done – nearly impossible with Jacob – such an adorable two year old. I will be lucky if I do Christmas baking this year. Cards I decided will become a January thing (with the excuse that I can announce the birth of the baby at the same time – convenient that), pajamas are forthcoming I hope. And usually by now I have the freezer stocked with after pregnancy meals – umm yeah. Don’t think that is going to happen. We can live off Mac and cheese for the first month after baby is born, right? 🙂

    No, it doesn’t really get that much worse, it just comes in spurts. Good luck and as Zoo said, remember to BREATHE 🙂

  6. although babies join our lives they still suck a lot of the energy and change a great deal of what used to be normal. Things will get better. At least thats what I keep telling myself. Just be grateful for the small moments and give yourself permission to make things more simple.

    We are not having a tree this year because there wasn’t room and I wasn’t able to get rid of the furniture that I needed too. I was feeling quite guilty. When I broke the news to the kids they were upset for a while but now they are ok

    Besides those who love you will understand. Those who don’t understand don’t deserve a card on time anyway.

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