With Love, From Me to You

I’ll admit it, I’m not a great gift giver.  Some people are, and I’m not.  I’m getting better, but it is one of those examples of a weakness becoming a strength (and that’s not a quick process!)  The problems with gift-giving can be twofold.

The first problem is actually thinking to give the gift.  In addition to mandatory gift events there are some people who are aware of the other gift-giving opportunities.  I’m not that person.  I think it’s partly because as a child I missed a lot of social cues, but also because as an early adult in our college-life we had no money nor did our friends.  It’s only now as a grown up that I’m learning the intricacies of social gifts.

The second problem with gift-giving is finding just the right gift.  It’s tempting to purchase something you would want instead of what they would want, or to just walk in the store and get something.   This is a more sophisticated and delicate art.  I have an especially hard time shopping for someone whom I perceive as being financially comfortable because I immediately assume they can get for themselves anything they want or need, and I worry that a homemade gift would seem cheap.

I think every year I’m getting better at both of these aspects of gift giving, but I still have  a long way to go.  To anyone who has ever opened a gift from me and thought, “huh”, and to those who never got a gift, please remember that I’m still learning.  (I’m still learning, incidently, was the original title of this blog.)

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5 Responses to With Love, From Me to You

  1. Dana Willard says:

    I love all your thoughts. I hate the stress that comes along with gift-giving.
    And I often times wish I did have the money to really buy what I really wanted for others (and to do fun things like be the best host by leaving fresh towels and chocolates and gift cards or something on the pillows of guests staying at our house…okay, I guess you don’t need to be rich to leave towels and chocolates). But anyway…I’ve found that homemade gifts are the best. And since I know you are a crafter and sewer…perfect! People can buy what they need, but they can’t buy “art” created by Heather! I support your homemade efforts :)!

    Well, thank you. I need to expand out of my baby-world and discover stuff to make for adults.

  2. Karen says:

    I struggle with this too, but for different reasons. I hate that feeling of letdown when something that seemed like a great gift turns out to be nothing of the sort for the person in question. You, however, can make beautiful things, so you never have to worry.

    You’re very sweet. That feeling of letdown you explained so well is exactly what happened to me last year and why I am even more concerned about the right gift than I ever have been before.

  3. GoofyJ says:

    I was going to say something great, but Dana and Karen said my thoughts already. 🙂 Just know I’m there with you on struggling over the gift giving thing.

    Thanks! I had no idea this post would ellicit so much commiseration!

  4. I stress over the perfect gift too much. I have to like what I am giving them, but more importantly it has to be something I think they would appreciate. Usually a homemade item is usually appreciated because it is so rare and it takes a lot more time than just going out and buying something.

    I am the same way about thinking to give a gift because as the youngest of 10 I wasn’t responsible. My mom, brother, or sister were responsible. Then as a young married couple we didn’t have money and … well … we still don’t.

    Interesting your perspective as the youngest of 10, because I am the oldest of 9. I have always tried to get my younger siblings something for Christmas. Even now that we’re just buying for one person I usually get a little something for everyone. But the younger siblings . . . well, Sam bought my 2006 present right before he saw me in August. Jeremiah decided that his 2007 present for me would be that he would come down and visit us in 2008. 🙂 Younger siblings, what can you do, eh?

    hee hee 😉

  5. feathersky says:

    I’m a terrible gift giver too. I’m creative, but I have absolutely no time to make gifts, or money to buy nice gifts. Maybe someday I’ll have more time or money! Good luck!

    Thanks!
    You are very creative. I’m sure everyone who receives a gift from you loves it.

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