I’ve tried to keep my employment out of my blog for the most part. I want to respect the privacy of my clients. I enjoy tutoring and I feel I’ve done a good job this year of relating with Daniel. For his part he has shown a lot of improvement. Things have gone really smoothly, and any friction has been worked out quickly (and has been mild.)
Everything would be perfect (gas prices notwithstanding) if it were not for the ever-changing schedule. What began as 5-6 daily became a fluctuating at-whim mess until I finally had to put my foot down last winter and request either we return to the original schedule or I raise my rates. It was just too hard for Esme, for my family, and for me. This spring the schedule began to shift again, and I did my best to accomodate Daniel’s desires to go to as many tennis practices as he could. I think balance is really important. But I tried to make it clear that it would be temporary and that when I began watching Aiden “everything would return to 5.”
Yesterday afternoon he called me at 3:45 asking when I was coming (expecting me to have been there at 3:30 so we could fit in tutoring before tennis.) I reminded him that now that it was May things went back to 5. “Oh, I thought that was just Thursdays.” I politely apologized for the misunderstanding, that I didn’t realize when I told him “everything would return to 5” that he didn’t understand that everything would return to 5. He had a game, so we had to cancel tutoring last night. (Which, I confess, helped me out a great deal. At the time of that call Boy Blue had still not taken his afternoon nap. And I knew we’d have a late night with the first Phreeley Friday Pajama Party at our house. A success, but another story.)
Laaaaaaate last night I got an email from the father, trying to get me to reconsider my Fridays, explaining why tennis is so important to Daniel, and guilting me by telling me that if Daniel has to give up tennis he’ll be very depressed. I replied with some alternate suggestions I thought would work, and have yet to hear back from him. I’m sure in a day or two we’ll have a solution and this will all be taken care of.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME I’m frustrated and insulted. I realize that Daniel is an only child so it’s easy for his whims to dictate the schedule of his household. I understand that. I think it’s great that he has such dedicated parents. Good for him. Good for them. What bothers me is that they don’t understand that I am not a part of the Daniel-centered world and that it is a lot harder for me and my galaxy to adjust on a whim. If I made a commitment to babysit until 4:40 (at which time I have to say, “hi! here’s your child, see you tomorrow!” and hop into the car) then I am totally unable to tutor at 3:30, no matter how valid the reason. If I made the commitment before the tennis changes happened, then I am not in any way trying to work them over. And if during the course of time when I did tutor early I kept reminding Daniel that it all went back to 5 in May because of my previous commitment, then obviously I’m not being unreasonable.
Am I blowing this out of proportion? Yes. Do I know I should be folding laundry so I can sleep instead of venting about something I know isn’t worth it? Yes. But do I feel invalidated? Do I feel disrespected? Yes. However, I’m registering my complaints with the cosmos. Once it’s out, it’s no longer in. And I can move on. I bid you all goodnight. It is one hour past my bedtime so I am off to fold the laundry on my bed and have a shower.
***EDIT*** Monday morning he replied to my email, saying he “kind of” agreed with my suggestion that Daniel could take Fridays off tutoring in May. (Scheduling conflicts aside, I actually have been thinking for a while that he needed an opportunity to prove how much he has grown this year.)
🙂 This is me, very relieved.