On Control

It’s the funniest thing, really.  I know better, but since I started watching Aiden, which made my days infinitely more busy, I’ve been staying up later.  It isn’t even because I’m trying to stay on top of the laundry, either.  It’s because I’m goofing off.

The most recent time-waster has been Civilization.  I’ve had episodes with this game before.  I’m not proud of it, but when pregnant with Little Red I could spend all day in the game.

There are definitely better things I could do with my time.  (sleep.)  There are even better things I could do while remaining awake but refusing to do housework.  (crochet.)  And, of course, there’s always housework, but the whole point of staying up late and goofing off is because so much of how I spend my time is dictated to me that it’s the one thing I want to choose for myself.  I feel this larger-than-me compulsion to decide at least one part of my day.  And even though I know I’m not making the best decision for the long run, and even though I know I’ll be tired the next day, I continue to make the less-optimal decision.

It’s about being in control.  And I believe it is the exact same reason a toddler who stays up until 10 pm every night thinks that 5 am is a perfectly acceptable time to rise and play. 


4 thoughts on “On Control

  1. My current guilty pleasure is Age of Empires III, The War Chiefs. But I don’t play it that much right now. I’m too busy knitting.

  2. I hear ya! I’m up so late, so much. A lot of the time I’m doing fun things just for myself, totally being selfish. Sometimes I actually do things that will help myself out the next day!

  3. Yes, that game is addicting. Luckily I don’t have it on my computer, but it was on my in-laws, and lets just say I didn’t visit too much when I needed my fix. There are days where I find myself goofing off while Chloe is asleep, but I should be cleaning the kitchen floor. Motherhood is a hard one to balance. You want “fun time”, but need to get stuff done when you have the chance.

  4. I’m trying *REALLY* hard to work on scrapbooking in my free time. Which is why I’m reading blogs right now. We’ve all got our vices hahaha

    I’m going to have to find that game. It sounds like fun 🙂

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