November 30, 2008
I am thankful for my husband’s family, they are a family to me. This year, as it is with all of our California holidays, we went down to Paul’s uncle’s in Costa Mesa. Andrew, Nancee, and Seth came out from Vegas, and Paul’s cousin David was there, too. As always, it was a perfectly wonderful thanksgiving.
On the topic of gratitude, I’m grateful that Paul’s previous employer chose not to insure family members but employees only. Now, while Paul and I are tightwalking between coverage, the boys are safely under the umbrella of the insurance they have had for years. The Healthy Families program in California has been such a blessing to us, and during this time of uncertainty, I’m so glad Robin gave me the head’s up so many years ago.
I know the layoff was very inconviniently timed, but I remain optimistic (despite a few random anxiety attacks), and I am glad that we have the opportunity to move into something better. Now, if only companies would stop freezing jobs right after Paul interviews …
We’re going to be fine. I think things are moving more than we know. I am grateful for all the forces of the universe, and for the love of the Lord, and I am grateful for the peace in my heart that lets me know that we will be fine.
November 25, 2008
Our naps were all out of wack yesterday, but the boys pulled through and made it a beautiful afternoon.
Spontaneously, in the middle of megablocks, both of my boys pounced on me and drowned me in kisses in the same manner I have so frequently done to them.
I love kissing them, but I think that being on the other end of was even sweeter.
November 24, 2008
Today I am trying to stay calm. Today I am trying to stay positive. Today I hope that the three little boys with whom I spend my day can distract me enough that I won’t count time, or budgets. Today I hope that I can lower my blood pressure and decrease my stress. Today I want to be happy. Today I want to walk with faith. Today I want to look to the future with hope. Today I am trying to stay calm.
November 23, 2008
On a particularly normal day someone started whining and I got into a sarcastic speach:
“Yep, making people unhappy, that’s what I do. It sure makes me soooo happy to have everyone mad at me. . .”
I was mostly speaking to myself, although partly just venting to Paul.
Little Red piped up from the other room. “Mummy, that’s not nice!”
November 16, 2008
How could I have known, last spring, when I found the perfect gift for Big Jack on clearance at the perfect price, that when his birthday rolled around in November we wouldn’t have a job and thus no money for gifts? I just saw what I wanted at a good price and snatched it up. I had no way of knowing that I’d never see another such item at Target again. It sure was nice to put together a present I knew he’d like without stressed about the payment.
How could I have known, in the fall, when I paid the deposit on our family photos, that on the day we took the photos my husband would have been out of work for five weeks? I paid over half of the money upfront to ease the burden of holiday spending, and have since made arrangements to barter for the remaining balance. Yesterday’s photo shoot was additionally serendipitous, although the day began as a 90 degree day, thwarting my wardrobe plans for the middle of November, when we arrived at the location at 3 pm it was comfortable and cool. Additionally, the ash from the local fires did not cloud the sky and permeate the air until we got back into the car to drive home. What luck!
This week I have been really struck by how many little things were taken care of before the drama to enable our family to travel through this difficult time with as much normalcy as possible. It reminds me that if the Lord is taking care of such small things as making sure that Jack gets Automoblox for his birthday, and we get family photos, then I know that He will take care of the big thing, and that a good job is coming. I need to not pay attention to the news reports that unemployment jumps every week; I need to not think about what that means for the number of people fighting for the same jobs as Paul; I need to not worry that EDD has only sent us a cheque for one week although we were owed four.
This week I have been struck by the little things, and I know that the big things will work out, too.
November 14, 2008
Little Jack demanded a playdate with Little Red before 9am. By the time his mother and I were done playing phone tag it was much later, but I was so relieved to have our friends come over! Hooray!
Once they got their angst out they played SO WELL together. It was creative and wild and positive and supportive. Little Red even ran upstairs to change into the same shirt Jack was wearing (a red Star Wars shirt with C3PO and R2D2 featured.) After lunch they were Spiderman and Jack Batman, respectively. I especially love that they can be characters they only know from tshirts, socks, and puzzles; they are such great kids!
While playing on the kiddie table Little Red pushed his brother, who fell off, and went straight to time out. From the corner he called to his cohort, “Jack Batman, SAVE ME!” I hid my face in the belly of my baby. I laughed and laughed and laughed.
It was a perfect morning until they tried climbing the dresser, which fell on top of them. I think they’re okay and will have nothing more than some bruises and a mild sprain, but they could have broken their legs, or worse. Knowing them, they’d probably have been thrilled at the idea of matching casts.
November 14, 2008
Last night as I was leaving our enrichment activity for our women’s association, I stopped to say hello to Aiden and his Grandma. He immediately leaned over for me to hold him, which I gladly accepted. I chatted his his Grandma and made faces at him, and he smiled gleefully back at me. Then I told him to have a great sleep and he gave me a look that was nothing if not “you and I both know I don’t care what you think about sleep.” Hilarious.
It was getting late and I wanted to get home, so I kept leaning him back toward his Grandmother, but he would not let go of me. I was very touched. Sometimes during the day we are at odds, and it’s nice to know that he’s still a baby and he forgives me easily. I especially like knowing that we have a relationship that goes beyond a “working” relationship.
Today at lunch, amid the chaos of Little Red and Jack pretending to be Spiderman and Batman, Boy Blue trotting along behind, and sweet Ella just trying to get some peace and quiet, I overheard Janel say to Andrea how relaxing it was to come over for lunch every day. I am so glad that she is so comfortable in my home, and that she appreciates the atmosphere in which her son spends so much time. I am also happy to have a girlfriend to talk with on a daily basis — no matter what else happens in the day.