Somewhere along the line of adolescence I made a conscious decision which changed my life. It was not a singular moment, mind you, but a series of decisions to choose to be “like this, not that.” Yes, when I was younger I thought it sure would be cool to be a princess, to be adored, and to call the shots, but I knew I didn’t want to be that person. I am no diva. I knew quite young that I wanted to be low-maintenance. I wanted to be the low-drama friend, and the easy-going wife.
This was especially important to me as I thought about the kind of wife I wanted to be. I didn’t want to spend so much time in the bathroom that we were late for everything, I’d rather go out and do something fun! I didn’t have a list of “musts” that I needed to maintain my lifestyle and that my husband had no choice but to provide. In the years I’ve focused on being carefree and self-sacrificing, I’ve been my happiest, and in the years I felt I had some entitlement or had an unwritten list of things which I felt imperative, I was miserable. (Likewise, when I thought, “I am lucky” I had joy, but if I thought “they are lucky to have me” I had sorrow.)
I knew back then, fifteen or more years ago, the kind of person I wanted to be, and each day I try to be her, as a gift to my family and friends. The gift of an easy, happy day. I could have chosen my looks, you know.
Now I look to the future and do the same: what kind of woman do I want to be in the next ten or twenty years? I’ll never be her completely, but I can start practicing now. And that makes me happy.