Everybody Gets Knocked Down

We moved out here full of optimism and plans. We were going to be out for only a year. It was going to be the last time we moved ourselves (the next time an employer was going to foot the bill.) We would be willing to go anywhere after that year, but hoped it would be back east . . . The list goes on.

Every year that went by we prayed to know what to do. We prayed to know where to go. We wanted to leave a place wherein we were hemmoraging money and had no hope of getting a place of our own. We wanted to leave this place with bad schools, and where children grew up with some really poor role models. And every time we prayed we clearly received the same answer: Stay. Stay in your job (for now.) Stay in California. Stay in the ward. Stay in this apartment.

It was hard to hear, and each time required a bit of mourning. Mourning for the dreams that could not be. Mourning for the life we didn’t have. It was a struggle, many days, to stay the same when what we wanted was change, what we wanted was a fighting chance to survive.

But the reality is that nothing goes according to plan.  Life is about dealing what all you’re given.  I can’t say I always handled my struggles with optimism and grace, but I think that at this point I have made the best of things.  Of course I hope that things will keep looking up, but I hope that on the down days I’ll be able to pick myself back up.

It’s not how you you start, it’s how you finish
And it’s not where you’re from, but where you’re at

Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna get up? 
Just how are you gonna get up?

(lyrics from “Ali in the jungle” by The Hours)

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Everybody Gets Knocked Down

  1. You’ve certainly got my moral support. (I’m not sure what else I can offer.) I wish I could find a better way to say it though.

  2. You are so right! I’m having a hard time with the “WHY?”. Thanks for being so strong…for both of us!

  3. Ahhh, I remember when we had the goal of the next company paying for our move. Yeah right!!! We always just look everywhere and move to where ever the paycheck is. Now the wish is that someday we’ll have a retirement account… haha

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s