Centered

I lost my equilibrium this week. After Paul’s ninth interview with a particular company he received confirmation that he’s not the only person they’re interviewing and it threw him off. Paul is my rock, so when he’s in a funk I’m in a funk. It didn’t help that my phone died and my car was suddenly in need of repairs. Really, when it rains it poors. I had things under control with the stress of the job search, but the unexpectedness of repairs and replacements left me feeling very fragile. I fell back into my old ways: wasting time on mindless facebook games and my patented eating contest with myself (I won, by the way.) The more I did those things the worse I felt, and the worse I felt the more I did those things to dull the pain of the stress.

Today a friend is sending me her unused TMobile phone and my car is being repaired. (Radiator hose had a hole.) The car repairs are not free, but not so astronomical to wipe out our entire savings. I still didn’t sleep well, but I do feel myself coming out of this week’s fog. For a short week, this was a really long one. Today is Friday, today is the end of that long short week. Today I have found my center.

I can spend the whole morning playing automoblox with Blue and Tyler, not worrying about the future or the present. And I believe I can do so without raiding the kitchen for sugars and starches. This is what we call progress, my friends. I can live with the uncertainty of my life so long as the uncertainty stays within certain parameters. I’ve boxed it back up and now I’m good.

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2 Responses to Centered

  1. Timber says:

    Change the situation & this could totally be me talking. I hate getting in funks. Musta just been something funky about last week. Glad you are feeling better!

  2. Crystal T. says:

    I’m so sorry you guys are going through this. NINE interviews! Holy cow! That sounds even crazier than the stuff my husband has been through. What in the world is up with this job market???

    Hang in there. Things will get better soon. You just have to ride this out.

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