Evolution of the Mind

It’s been two months since Paul lost his job. Watching the ink dry on his resumes has been meditative and mindnumbing. For the most part the waiting has been a beautiful preiod of growth. The longer this takes the more prepared I am for whatever change is coming. Our new world may not look like this one, and that would present a significant change in my lifestyle and the education of my children. This waiting place allows me to come to grips with that on my own pace. I have new perspective on “and Mary kept these things and pondered them in her heart.” This is a quiet period for me, and I appreciate the time.

I haven’t done well with my goal to walk thrice weekly, and I know that once I can work that into my routine the other aspects of my life will be smoother. I grow increasingly resentful of the time demands placed upon me by others. I’ve supressed it for a long time but my inner hermit is demanding his due. I’m settling into a quieter phase of my life, one that asks more introspection and delivers more wisdom and peace. I want to study and meditate. I want to learn. I want stillness. I don’t miss the bubbly, bouncy, frenetic old me; I appreciate her for who she was, but am happy to settle in to my new phase. I hope it lasts a while, and I hope I can better learn to say no to people so that I can enjoy the company of my new wiser, slower, quieter self. I think I have a few things to learn from her.

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One Response to Evolution of the Mind

  1. mcinsane says:

    So profound. I admire your ability to look forward to your new self while still appreciating your old self. I’ve always thought your old self was so wise. Oh how I am going to learn from your new self if she is who you think is wise. I look forward to meeting her and hope for an occasional visit from your old self too. 🙂

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