If I told you that I’ve been working out diligently for a couple of weeks, and I eat properly and in good proportions, and I’m getting enough sleep, but the scale hasn’t even slipped by a pound, would you be surprised?
I’m not. I’ve been here before. Most of my adult life is filled with episodes of me doing everything right without getting the results that are supposed to follow. The only periods of weight loss I’ve had as an adult (not including childbirth) have come for inexplicable reasons.
So I’m exercising again, and I’m eating better than I have in months thanks to this new world in which I live. While I would love to lose a few pounds and fit back into the clothes I already own instead of going shopping for new, bigger, clothes, this is no longer a priority for me.
I am not going to drive myself crazy (and by extension, my family) in my attempts to regain some lost glory in the body of a former self. I have much better things to do with my life than trying to be nineteen again.
Here’s the thing: if I accept my soul, my spirit, my intelligence, as being an ever-evolving, ever-changing being that is housed within my body, shouldn’t it stand to reason that my body is also ever-evolving and ever-changing? And if I wouldn’t want my mind to return to where it was when I was nineteen, why would I wish that of my body?
That’s not to say that we should continue to grow, physically, unrestrained. I do think, however, that we should take the time to think about where our bodies have been, and what they have done. I’ve birthed and nursed a couple of babies and I wouldn’t erase that experience for anything. Instead of trying to erase that physically, I need to take my body where it is, and move toward health.
Size doesn’t matter. Health matters. You can be in good shape without having a good shape, and you can have a good shape without being in good shape. Of course most of us would prefer to have the best of both, but for many of us that isn’t possible. The ideal is to be in good shape, regardless of our shape.
So I am exercising. For as long as we are in this apartment I hope to maintain the pace I have started. Already I have noticed a change in my stamina and strength. Already my appetite has crossed the hurdle of insatiable hunger and I’ve settled into a normal consumption routine. Already I’ve noticed a stabilization of my moods.
My mind is clearer, my days are happier. I’ve been able to observe the effect that different foods have on my body because I’ve had the time to pay attention. (Any processed sugar before dinner will cause my moods and appetite to go haywire. Locally-produced honey is okay in small doses.) It’s wonderful to be able to listen to my body. I think we’re going to be good friends, my body and me. I’m taking better care of it, and whether I lose weight or not doesn’t matter to either of us any more.