Lonely

I’ve been having a hard time this week for reasons too numerous to list. White-knuckling through each day is not exactly how I imagined our last week of summer, and I’m trying really hard to keep it happy, fun, and good, but it is a struggle.

Tonight Paul said, “don’t feel so bad. You miss your friends. The boys miss their friends. It’ll be okay.”

And it hit me. Of course. Of course he’s right.

For the past eight years I’ve had my friends, the women I had vetted and chosen to help me co-raise my children. On my tough days they always knew what to say to work me out of the corner I’d found myself painted. They made me a better mother. They supported me and strengthened me. They taught me what I needed to know.

But they are 1414 miles away. My kids can’t play with theirs to burn off steam. And they aren’t here to talk me down from my ledge and help me make something beautiful out of the mess I’ve made.

We’ve been here for four and a half months and it suddenly hit me how lonely I am and how much I miss my friends.

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4 Responses to Lonely

  1. Karma says:

    *Hugs* Because I know how you are….I know that you’re just in the early stages of building that same kind of support network. It will take time but you will have a new and different but still wonderful support system where ever you are.

  2. Lisa says:

    I agree with Karma! Not only are you in a new place, but it isn’t a permanent one. When you have settled in a home and ward, you’ll find your place, and start the “vetting” process again. You went through so much in CA, and gave so much to so many people. You will have different opportunities to grow, connect, and give in TX.

    But, I get it. I still fill the gap you and your family left. Some great new people have moved in, but I miss Heather!

  3. feathersky says:

    I have to agree with everyone else, just give it some time. You are such a great person, pretty soon you’ll have that network of friends again!

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