At 3 a.m.

At 3 a.m. I am clumsy and stumble a lot, tripping on things seen and unseen. 

At 3 a.m. I have the vocabulary of a sailor long at sea, uninhibited and wild. 

At 3 a.m. I am angry and have the arguments with loved one I normally keep bottled up, yelling the vicious things I probably don’t mean. The fight is one-sided and I never open my mouth. At 3 a.m. I also reenact a lot of things in my head. 

At 3 a.m. I feel things I don’t feel during the rest of the day, but mostly anger. At 3 a.m. I am angry. 

At 3 a.m. I argue with chocolate. I hate chocolate for being so chocolate. I hate chocolate for not being satiating enough and always leaving me wanting more. I don’t eat chocolate at 3 a.m. because that’s when I fight with it. 

At 3 a.m I wish I had a sound proof room so I could do the hateful CIO method without waking the family. 3 a.m. is the only time I would ever consider CIO. 

At 3 a.m. I hate my life. I reevaluate all my life’s decisions and find them lacking. 

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3 Responses to At 3 a.m.

  1. feathersky says:

    (((Hugs)))
    3am is the worst. The very very worst.

    (…..and I kinda sorta want to be a fly on the wall and hear your sailor vocabulary because I would never have guessed you have an inner sailor! lol!)

  2. mcinsane says:

    3 am is very quietly eventful for you! My time like this is more around 6 am, or 5 pm, or 8 pm, or midnight and sometimes it isn’t so quiet. 🙂

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