August 14, 2016

Poor Blue. He spent an absolutely blissful week in Michigan, just him and his doting grandparents. He had a perfect week and came home yesterday  so happy. 

This morning he is hiding under the covers, trying to sleep, while Babyzilla runs the roost. 

Holiday’s over, kid. Welcome back home. Sorry it kind of sucks. (He’ll be happy about things in a few hours.)

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Patterns

August 9, 2016

This afternoon I was talking with my friend about an experience I had had with Blue a few weeks prior. It was a shameful example of how not to parent and one that I hope I never forget (how could I?) so that I never ever do that again. I relayed to her how it had taken me days after, wondering how to deal with myself. Without the luxury of time I couldn’t wallow for long, feeling like an unfit mother, so I quickly went to wondering what to do about myself. What’s a good outlet for my emotions? (Screaming at children had become my outlet but it was exactly that I was trying to eliminate.) I honestly didn’t know. After days and weeks of questioning I’ve only come up with one answer: exercise. (If there are other healthy outlets for emotions please tell me because I honestly can’t think of any.) So as much fun as this summer has been, and it really has been, I’m counting down for school to start so that hopefully I can excise some of this crazy before I lose it over something trivial again. 

So this afternoon Amanda and I were discussing this, and this evening I found in my Facebook memories that on this day two years ago I opened up a discussion about self care, soliciting ideas. 

I see a pattern here in my inability and complete lack of knowledge in caring for myself. 


Seventeen Years Later

August 7, 2016

It’s important to never let things be too predictable; you don’t want your relationship to get stale, so last night as we celebrated our anniversary at Pappas Bros., the best steakhouse in Dallas, I surprised Paul and did not order the salmon. For the first time ever I ordered a steak, and I ate it all. 

(Donating blood earlier in the day was carefully planned with our dinner in mind.)

I probably didn’t record it anywhere because of my blogging hiatus last year — we went to Roy’s.