Resolutions and other things

January 4, 2017

I’ve seen this comic and a couple similar memes go around this week. A friend pontificated this morning about the metaphor, that a musical resolution comes from dissonance and how our own resolutions should reflect the same. 

I’ve been struggling with setting resolutions this year, I don’t remember ever having such difficulty. Can I think of things I want to do better? Sure I can! But the list is so long. I don’t know how to narrow it down. I’m missing focus. 

Starting from dissonance makes sense to me. When I start there I can easily see that almost all of my problems from the past two years stem from my self esteem being at an all time low. There are many factors that have influenced this, primarily being the massive flux of  hormones  from the pregnancy and the postpartum period. I can’t do anything about that except hope that as I stabilize and my little one {hopefully, please!} learns to sleep I can turn things around. 

The problem is the hormones set off a spiral that I need to unwind. 

Everyone talks about cutting the toxic people from your life, those who make you feel badly about yourself instead of building you up. But what if some of those people who break you down are those you can’t cut from your life? Well if I could value myself enough to not let every little thing get me down then I think I could survive the people who are currently no good for my health. 

So I guess this year my goal is to love myself. 

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Today

January 4, 2017

First day back at school after the break. It was a great break, don’t get me wrong. I loved the sleeping in, the lax schedules, and having Paul around. It was all wonderful.

But today is wonderful too. Little Man took a nap for as long as he needed, uninterrupted by activities or people. I’ve got all my planning done for today’s cub scout meeting hours in advance, consumed my smoothie leisurely, and have even restarted my Duolingo lessons. Other notable accomplishments today include having a shower and helping out at school. I don’t have supper plans yet and my day won’t stop for another 8 hours but I have some quiet time reading Moo Baa Lalala ahead of me before I return to juggling the opposing needs of tweens and toddlers. 
Tomorrow I might even start cleaning. And exercising.