By the end of the weekend I had worked over my anxiety over the upcoming school year. It helped that I was able to finish up my big projects and get back to our day-to-day routine of naps, stories, and laundry. And I knew that I would be tired, but I could most certainly handle balancing my two jobs. I was ready.
I wasn’t ready for what Daniel said last night after he said, “did you get my Dad’s email?” (I hadn’t. I wouldn’t see it until after I got home.) But I am grateful that Daniel was the one who told me, so we could talk about it right away.
My plan with him had always been to work myself into obsolescence with him. I figured that by the time he was in grade 12 I’d only check on him once or twice a week. My goal was for him to leave for University fully supported, but fully confident in his own abilities and ready for the future. It wasn’t my plan to be out of a job when he started grade 10, but this economy is hard on everyone, and his family is no exception. They had to cut down on household expenses and so Daniel is going to try it on his own, and checking in with the after school homework help at the high school when he feels like he needs it.
I asked him how he felt about stopping tutoring. Kind of happy. Kind of sad. Why sad? I asked. And he replied that he really liked having someone to talk to, and that we had fun.
Paul asked me how I felt about this. Kind of happy. Kind of sad. Yes, I’m really going to miss the money, and I’m disappointed that my fast track to cleaning up our finances has been stalled. But also, it sucks being laid off. And I’m going to miss Daniel — it took us a while but in the end we actually became friends. I really hope he does well. And I really hope they call me again if the situation changes.
But this takes major pressure off me in the evening. I don’t have to stress out when Janel is late in getting out of the office. And I’m going down to nearly no driving at all (which means gassing up very rarely!) This takes Paul off the hook in the evenings, so if he needs to stay late to finish up something, he can, and his evenings are open for his other projects, instead of wrangling tired children.
What does this mean for Daniel? I really think he’s going to be fine, actually.
What does this mean for us? Well I’ve still got Aiden (THANK GOODNESS!) so we can still pay our bills. Maybe something else is coming. Or maybe we’re going to move. Or maybe it’s just our lot to pay down our debts slowly, and the double jobs over the summer was just to get us through some very difficult blows. I guess I’m just going to have to see what comes next. I won’t bother guessing, there’s no way I could have even seen this coming.
I know I made a difference in Daniel’s life, and I guess that’s all I needed to do there. I know his parents saw the changes, too. This is how my “pink slip” concluded:
Thank you very much for teaching Daniel for a year….. We are going to miss you….