(Inertia is a tough master. When you’re busy, it’s hard to stop, and when you pause, it’s so hard to get going again. This post has taken two weeks to write.)
By 9 am on Monday my left eye was twitching
… and it was a holiday.
I started off the morning in dreamland: not only was it the President’s Day holiday, but Janel had a furlough day the following day so I had two pretty unstructured days with just my two little boys.
Then I remembered that without Aiden I had to do all the things I couldn’t do with Aiden around: balance the chequebook (you’d think it’s easier than it is with three little boys who don’t approve of computer time,) do research for the store, de-clutter the mailbox and shred the stuff we don’t need, and -oh joy- do taxes. I was dreading the taxes because we haven’t had witholdings on the unemployment or the babysitting money and I was certainly afraid we’d not only not get a good enough refund, but that we’d actually have to pay. How can we do that when we can’t afford food?!
B is for Barter
I emailed Karma with a quick tax question, not to hit her up for free advice, but to make sure I was going in the right direction and whether I should pay someone to help me (as it was clear my forms would not qualify for free-file.) Did I have to file a Schedule C? I hardly felt like a sole proprietorship for babysitting, but couldn’t figure out how else to claim my earnings. She responded by saying that yes, I did need to file a schedule C and that she would be so offended if I paid someone else to do my taxes. She then used the “b” word in exchange for doing my taxes. How could I say no? She used my favourite word!
What Do You Mean Cookie Dough is Bad For Me?
My self-indulgence for the sake of survival has caught up with me. I figured that as long as I was awake and happy and taking care of the children, did it matter that it took extra dessert (and mid-day dessert) to do the trick? Wasn’t it enough that I was doing all I could to keep it together? Well, I’m clearly gaining weight. Not only can I not go buy more clothes right now, but I’m not emotionally strong enough to fend off questions of pregnancy, which will surely happen if I give myself a free pass for another week or two. Sigh. So how do I add getting enough sleep, and taking enough time for myself so that I don’t fill those voids with food? And when the heck am I supposed to exercise? When the kids nap? HAHAHAHAHA! My two stagger their naps (again) so they’re never asleep at the same time, if Little Red naps at all. And Daytime Brother? Well, let’s just say it’s been a long time since he and I have felt rested…
Taking Over the World, One PTA At A Time
Jen’s husband is the president of the teacher’s union, and the union had extra tickets for the PTA Awards Dinner last night. He invited Jen, and Jen invited me. As it’s election time and the union is not supporting the encumbant school board members, we checked Allen’s back frequently for daggers, but everyone was civil. Jen and I were not, however, meerly to act as friendly faces in an unfriendly environment for him; we had our own agendas. We’ve submitted Kyra and Little Red’s applications for kindergarten (the selection of the schools is a long story!) and wanted to meet the PTA members. Unfortunately no one from the school attended the ceremony last night, but we furthered our agenda nonetheless. Our message? We are coming. We made the rounds last night with certain key players in the community. By today I’m sure everyone knows that Allen’s wife is joining the PTA next year, and she has reinforcements. 🙂
Peanut Butter, Flour and Oil
What does it say about our eating habits that this morning we ran out of peanut butter, all-purpose flour, and cooking oil? We have flour, to be sure, but not enough all-purpose flour to make the one million cornmuffins I need to make for this evening, and after my first double batch I ran out of oil. I’m tempted to do the rest with shortening because I really don’t want to go out of the house again. I can’t. I’ve finished the whole wheat bread and only begun the cornmuffins, I finished my handout for the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Dinner, have not even read the story I need to present for the primary activity tomorrow morning, and haven’t gotten Little Red and Daytime Brother down for their naps yet. I could really go for a nap, but then who would make the cornbread? I’m tired. This has been a long two weeks, and somehow my calender appears empty. I haven’t finished my visiting teaching, nor have I even opened the enveloppe containing our completed taxes to review, sign, and mail. Why is the to-do list always so much longer than the completed list?
Somehow we have enough to cover rent again this month. I’m sure when it comes time for our mid-month bills we’re going to have to start asking our families for help, but it has been such a miracle that our meager savings and the generous cash donations we received at Christmas have carried us through February. We are so blessed. We are so grateful. We can (and will) endure this trial. We hope it will be over soon so that we can turn around and share this love with others. We have been so blessed.