A diminished chord built on RA!

November 16, 2012


To Emily,

I don’t know where you are or what you’ve done with the last thirteen plus years, but I want you to know that yours was always and will always be my favourite card. I burst out laughing when I read it and everyone else thought I was crazy. I still giggle when I think of it, years later, and when I try to explain people still think I’m crazy.


The Adventures of Anxiety Girl

November 7, 2012

Anxiety Girl Gets a Ticket

Driving down a road she’d never travelled before, hoping it would lead her where she wants to go (home) she gets pulled over. The officer kindly informs her that she was going 34 in a school zone. She is astounded. She stutters and stammers and shakes and trembles. She had no idea she was in a school zone. The guilt is palatable: she, a PTA mother, had unknowingly sped through a school zone. She spends the entire weekend a step and a half below anxiety attack. Guilt, no matter how innocent, tastes terrible.

Anxiety Girl Visits The DMV

First thing Monday morning Anxiety Girl heads to the DMV to finally face her bureaucratic fears and get a Texas license. The line is long before the doors open but move fast and she calms herself with yoga breathing and people watching. At least the employees are cordial, a welcome change from California. She had forgotten her SSN and had to return home but did so with the forced cheerfulness that at least she’s taking a step in the right direction. When she returns she discovers the computer system is down. Within a few minutes she learns the entire state is down and going to another office would not help.

Anxiety Girl visits the DMV take 2

After deciding that waiting in the lobby of the DMV in hopes the system will be up soon is not helpful, Anxiety Girl decides to wander the local craft store to stay active and keep her mind busy. After an hour, which apparently is the longest period of time she can allocate to window shopping by herself, she called the DMV and discovered that their computers were indeed back online. Hooray! She cheerfully went back and didn’t even let an under the fingernail papercut bother her as she pulled out her papers to check-in. It was only then that she discovered she needed yet another proof of residency deemed nearly impossible as she recently moved and most bills are electronic.

Anxiety Girl visits the DMV take 3

With chocolate courage she rummaged through her papers and found satisfactory documentation. She returned to the DMV pleased that third time would be a charm and proud that she had handled the morning without crying so her photo would not be splotchy and puffy. It was only then, on the precipice of victory, that she was informed she also needs to show proof of insurance for her husband’s car. Tears flow.

Anxiety Girl and the Waiting Game

Anxiety Girl waits for Metro Postal to open to get the fax number. Anxiety Girl waits for insurance agent to return from lunch so she can have him fax her husband’s insurance card to her. Anxiety Girl waits. Anxiety Girl wanders. Anxiety Girl waits some more. Anxiety Girl seeks comfort in the newly-changing leaves. Anxiety Girl seeks comfort in the soft autumn breeze. Anxiety Girl has consumed her candied courage and hopes the sugar high is more powerful than the DMV and the waiting.

Anxiety Girl Visits the DMV take 4

Five hours and twenty one minutes since she first arrived at the DMV she is finally approved to sufficient documentation and given a number. She is number 316. She waits. She is tired and insufficiently nourished. She can see that there will be an eye test. There will probably be more. Will she perform adequately under these compromised conditions? Only time will tell. She settled in to continue her scripture study while she still has battery power on her phone. It is dangerously low.

Anxiety Girl Visits the DMV take 4, part 2

Six hours after she first set foot in the DMV Anxiety Girl leaves victorious. In ten short business days she will have a new plastic card with a terrible picture! Yippee! Anxiety Girl returns home with just enough time to scarf down an ice cream lunch and wash the evidence before her children get home. The anxiety is not over, she still needs to make.a.phone.call to beg for leniency so that she can take the defensive driving course and cut her ticket in half, even though she had an out of state license. The phone call can wait another day. Anxiety Girl has done all she can for a Monday.

DMV x2

November 5, 2012

Dear California DMV,

You’re the boyfriend I was hoping I could ignore and you would get the hint. I gave you too much credit. Please stop harassing me. You’re clearly so desperate for money that you keep hounding me for renewal fees for a car I registered in another state seven months ago. You and I are through. There’s a new DMV in my life and after spending six hours of my day wrapped up in that new relationship I did not appreciate coming home to more of your stalker letters. Stop trying to contact me and take a hint. You can’t have any more of my money. I have moved on and you should too.

Blue’s Clues

November 4, 2012


“You get what you get and you don’t get upset is only true if it’s something you want. Otherwise you should argue.”

“Hey, how did these M&Ms get here? I was just doing nothing and all of a sudden these M&Ms appeared in my hand without me doing anything! Can I eat them?”


November 2, 2012

Well colour me the idiot who sped through a school zone without knowing it was there. Also I believe that everyone who says they “got off with a warning” is lying.
(Of all the ways for me to be caught speeding it’s the one zone I’m the most fastidious as obeying.)

Happy Halloween!

November 1, 2012

These were my first trick or treaters ever. We had a really great time and are so happy to be in this great neighbourhood. We’ve learned a few things for next year (one bag of candy instead of three) and look forward to many many years of this. It was also interesting to be back in a place where Halloween is not the biggest event of the year. While the major setups by professional set designers were lacking, this was fun in a homey way. I think it was the boys’ favourite Halloween.