I Eat Cupcakes for Breakfast

Saturday night I lay on the floor, toys carefully, deliberately strewn around me.  I knew I couldn’t sleep, but I’d welcome any form of rest at that point.  I envisioned my husband coming downstairs, rested, in the morning to find me exactly as I was on the floor, but with a worn-out baby using me as a pillow.  It made me smile to picture what I hoped would come. 

The baby, of course, had other plans.  He was happy to have me all to himself, he was happy to have the toys all to himself.  He alternated between playing with the toys and pulling out my hair.  That’s fine.  Bald is beautiful.  Hair will regrow but I can never regain the sleep I’ve lost.

When I sat up to give my poor scalp a break I saw the proud buddha pat his belly and smile delightedly at me.

At 2am I finally gave in and moved to the kitchen.  I needed more strength.  I began with some cupcakes lefter over from the birthday party.  The icing had melted so I had a second one to ensure my remorse in the morning.  With  my veggies and dip I camped out on the tile to watch him play with his reflection in the oven door.  Finally I opened the Cheetos.  There was a party in my tummy, and Cheetos, yes those MSG-laden chemical sticks, were invited.

It was then that he decided to give in to the prolactin.  I nursed him and put him to bed and sleepily brushed my teeth.  We napped for 45 minutes before he was up and ready for more.  He was still warm from his fever, and still clearly feeling crummy, so I couldn’t just make him cry it out and go back to sleep.  We didn’t really sleep until 4:30, and his brother was up within two and a half hours.

My neighbour, Angela, is two weeks into motherhood.  She’s mentionned several times that she doesn’t know how I survive without coffee.  I just smile when she says this.  I have my own vices. 

6 thoughts on “I Eat Cupcakes for Breakfast

  1. My first thought when I read your post title was,
    “you eat pieces of s*^% (crap) for breakfast?”….sorry, I have most of “Happy Gilmore” memorized. I’m sorry you have a sick baby though. Cupcakes and Cheetos sound like perfect remedy for the worn out care-giver.

  2. I was thinkng of posting something along similar lines as this today. I had about half of it written out, but then I deleted it. I didn’t like the direction it was taking me.

    I’ve been known to eat all the leftover cupcakes in the middle of the night like that. No Cheetos for me, though. I can’t STAND those things!

    Today I was cold when I took Aiden to school and I decided to make a run to Starbucks for hot chocolate (since I drank the rest of what we had at home just last night). As I sat in the van, waiting in line, I thought about people needing their coffee everyday. I’m so exhausted, I sometimes wish I could drink coffee. But I hate the smell of it, so I don’t think I’ll be starting any time soon.

  3. I can’t stand the smell of coffee either. Blech!

    Oh man, we can’t have any baked yummies or chips in the house or I eat ’em all, and I don’t even have a sick baby to blame!!! 🙂 Hopefully you get more sleep soon!

  4. Now I have someone to comiserate with “in my mind” when i am up at night. I was up from 12:00am till about 2:30am. The night before it was 2:00am till 4:00. This sick baby thing sucks. Used to be that i could just put him back when I fed him but not now.

    When I had these sick episodes with the other two i was able to sleep when they slept but now I have 2 in school. I have to be up to get them there. I look so tired. My vice right now is chocolate in all its forms.

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